“Now we’re far from perfect”
We were sitting in front of two friends of ours. A couple that had recently came back to the church after a hiatus. I had to hold my tongue.
After all he had put his family through in the last 6 months how dare he speak to anyone on issues of faith and God? Have I not been the one holding everything spiritually and financially stable for a while now? Am I not the one left trying to clean up the mess he made?
Saying that we are far from perfect was quite and understatement.
I don’t doubt he had spoken to God several times over the last year; when a big hand had come up that would erase his gambling created debt. Maybe he made prayers that his boss wouldn’t figure out where the missing money had gone. Come to think of it, I’m sure he and God had spoken some. I catch myself biting my tongue a lot. I have to remind myself that we all mess up. Jesus loves screw ups. In them he best shows his transformative ways. Look at Saul, the murderer. But then again, I would have loved to hear what Saul’s family said when he came home and said God told him to be a good guy. I don’t think they had the Christian neighbors over for dinner the next night, do you?
Sanctification is a process and last time I checked, I’m sure not Christ. I balance the precarious line of forgiving but not forgetting. I want to allow my husband to grow and transform back into the man that I married only better. Until then, I wait and watch.
Did you find your support?
I found awesome support. I attend gam anon weekly. Gam anon is a support group for family members of compulsive gamblers. It helps you remember that their gambling is not a reflection of their love towards you-it’s a disease.
I also have an amazing friend who is a LPC (licensed practicing counselor) who I talk with every couple of days via the phone.
My husband meets with our pastor as well as attends GA.